The procedure of partnerschule.de

As an answer to the situation of marital and the requirement of a family-counselling-center invented the partnerschule.de Hagen - Iserlohn - Menden. 'Partnerschule' is a school for couples to learn successful relationship (Sanders 1996, Sanders 2000).

The prospect to learn something new is infectious

Why a definition like partnerschule.de?

A lot of clients can identify themselves easier with a student than with someone who is psychological ill and needs a therapy. In a school one doesn’t necessarily need to know anything at the beginning and one is allowed to make mistakes, one is guided to the right action and most of all one is not alone. There are others like in a class community. The following shows what the contents of the school is and what the clients are going to learn. On the basis of empirical material it’s supposed to show how to get along with each other and to involve this knowledge into the marital and family counselling and therapy.

• People want to feel good in their closest relationships. They realize this through relaxation and when they think of themselves as valuable and competent in the company with others.

• They want to understand how the getting along with each other works, why they act the way they do and why their partner does so.

• They want to expand their potentials

• They want to receive life and forward it.

• They want to raise their children as good as possible

• Couples want to stay together, they want that love grows until death parts them.

But why do these wishes often don’t come true?

Cords on the way to marriage and to a relationship:

A. Traditional predominance of men
The evolution of reliable contraceptives made Sexuality of men and women not any longer a only a reproduction oriented sexuality but a social sexuality. Herewith sexuality became not any longer a commitment to marriage but also a it changed into a consumption possession.

B. Sexuality as social communication
The evolution of reliable contraceptives made Sexuality of men and women not any longer a only a reproduction oriented sexuality but a social sexuality. Herewith sexuality became not any longer a commitment to marriage but also a “must” it changed into a consumption possession.

C. Early experiences in relationships create dysfunktional relationship clusters
Some clients are in some ways negativly influenced by their experiences in relationships especially in their childhood. Implicit experiences in relationships which are not reachable to the conciousness might collide to never endingen conflicts.

D. Emotions as basis of a marriage in a society today
If couples are asked which are the basis of living together usually one gets to hear luck, love, affection and trust. Mostly relationships are based on these psychological and affective things which is a very shaky fundament. When couples realize that the love or luck is not there anylonger a separation seems to be the only answer. The increasing of divorces is not based on the loss of sense in marriage but the opposite that it became a central emotional meaning. Under this pressure it often happens that love is not enough anymore. And if this occurs separation seems to be the only solution in society toda